I am too confused to even start properly, so ill just write.
I have a crush on a guy. He is leaving soon and that will be that. He comes back at the end of this year. Ill be in Europe till the end of this year. SO, no point right?
WRONG! Or so at least thats what I keep feeling.
I had a crush on him towards the beginning of last year.. This guy and I kissed last year. I was too hesitant to hang out with him after that because I didn't feel ready. No, thats not the reason. If i'm being honest. He had a girl friend, they broke up. I didn't want to get hurt if they ended up getting back together. Also, he just was a very flirty guy. And yes, I just had gotten out of a very serious long bad relationship, but I still felt ready to go.
Him and his girl friend ended up getting back together, but now they have been broken up for a while now.
He is my brothers good friend and he is also best friends with my neighbor. So he is around a lot. But I never hang out with him. Like two weeks ago, it was my little brothers birthday. He was there!! We sat and talked for a while. I had these weird feelings inside of me. I wanted more than to just be friends with him. Thats when he tells me that he got accepted to be a fireman up north in Oregon. Ahhh So happy for him but wow there goes all hope if ever there was any.
The other day as I was going to work, he was outside my house sitting by my brothers window. He started talking to me and the way he would stare at me would leave me with no words to say back. I felt as if he wanted to say more but was stuck.
I think that if we hung out, we could totally make something happen. And yeah, he is leaving soon, but I don't want to miss out.
I know that all it would take is for him and I to hang out again. But when that will happen, I dunno? I wouldn't be the one to ask first. I'm too chicken for that, it's horrible.
But I really do hope that we can hang out before he leaves. I wouldn't be hurt. I would feel great to have done what I wanted.
There is still a week or so left before he goes to Oregon. We will wait and see what happens.
